my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
