So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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