So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
