if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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