my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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