Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
