You really coming over, don't trick.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
