He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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