I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
