Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
