Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
