we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize