Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
