NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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