i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
