Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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