If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
