is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
