So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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