My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
