By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
