What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
