i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
