I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
