I could make wine with my vomit
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
