You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
