Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
