Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
