She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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