that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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