He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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