Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
