Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
