remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
