I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
