Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
