so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
