North Korea, Best Korea!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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