Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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