its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
