All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
