There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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