You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
