Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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