Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
