Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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