Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
