Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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