Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
