it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
