my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
