Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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