jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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