He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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