The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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