I need help removing her.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize