I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I still have a little drunk in my system
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
