eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
