margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
