Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
