Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize