.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
its liver damage thursday
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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