Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
