I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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