you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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