tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
